Abandon all guilt, ye who enter hereThe Advanced Baby
by Kathi Stringer
| Imagine a world... that for a few, age is timeless. And innocence, for the few who dare embrace it. Where growing up means growing smarter while daydreaming they are still cradled and in "Carter's". They can present the image of adult maturity, while cloaking their infantile true self in that guise. They may manage companies, formulate corporate takeovers, and wield the power to eliminate a division of executives. They may find themselves excelling to the top levels of their class, brainstorming brilliant formularies. They may be seen as the life of any social gathering. They are frequently intelligent, progressive thinkers, spontaneous and creative. They can be found trusted in classified and sensitive high-level operations within government, all the while masking the soul of a highly developed intellectual child. If you can imagine this, then hang onto your hat and get ready for a wild run 'round the mulberry bush because it is quite possible that you’ve stumbled onto the secretive world of the Advanced Baby. Ask yourself:
If you can answer yes to most of the questions above, you may be an advanced baby, or suspect someone that is. Introduction to the Advanced Baby – A Life-style Phenomenon of the New Age?
Noxon’s article caught-on and the mainstream of writers spurred further observation and speculation. Ian Shoales writes about the “World’s Oldest Preteens” [2] that toymakers are targeting consumers that are buying products for made for persons half their age. Indeed, manufactures are considering another market for the infantile buyers. And, Trina Rea’s article, “The Search of Eternal Youth,” [3] discusses 35-year-olds that are looking to escape financial demands in life by the attractiveness of regression. She writes,
Siobhan McAndrew, from the Reno Gazette-Journal in her article I am a Gen-Xer suffering from Peterpandemonium, [4] writes, “Others describe this back-to-babyhood boon as Peterpandemonium, Kidults and Adultolescents.” McAndrew indicates that is becoming a fad to wear knee-high socks and wear Strawberry Shortcake footed pajamas that now come in adult sizes. She echoes the New York Times that “Rejuveniles are not are not “stunted adolescents.” They have “busy lives with adult responsibilities and respectable jobs.” Jessica Gresko, A Spectator Associate News Editor titled her article, Stuffed Animal Attachments Carry Over into College Years. [6] Gresko writes about Andrea Herbst who admits bringing her teddy bear to college.
Truly, we live in an age that older consumers are buying candy pacifiers, happy meals, and, according to Suzanne Fields author of Revisiting the itsy bitsy spider, [7] they “don't want to leave their childhoods because they prefer innocence to edginess.”
A Look at Transitional Objects – Not a Fetish, Costumes or Props Transitional objects can carry over into adulthood and are often times not the original object. Glen O. Gabbard, the flagship author for the American Psychiatric Association indicates “Pills may function as transitional objects for some patients, allowing them to maintain some sense of connectedness with their psychiatrists when seeing them quite infrequently. Touching or looking at the pill may have a soothing effect on the patient.” [9] Advanced Baby – Self Identification References: 1. Noxon, Christopher (Aug. 31, 2003), I Don't Want to Grow Up!, New York Times. Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.christophernoxon.com/nyt_sub_rejuveniles.html 2. Ian Shoales (January 1, 2004) World's Oldest Preteens, Intelligent Enterprise Magazine, Extracted March 22, 2006 3. Trina Rea, (December 19, 2003), The Search for Eternal Youth, Europe Intelligence Wire. Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/youth.htm 4. Siobhan McAndrew (October 11, 2003), I am a Gen-Xer Suffering from Peterpandemonium, Reno Gazette-Journal. Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.rgj.com/news/stories/html/2003/10/11/53893.php 5. Rejuveniles (2003-2004), Extracted from Kathi’s Mental Health Review, Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/rejuveniles.htm 6. Jessica Gresko (November 14, 2002), Stuffed Animal Attachments Carry Over into College Years, The Columbia Spectator. Extracted March 22, 2006 http://www.columbiaspectator.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2002/11/14/3dd38458acf7c 7. Suzanne Fields (September 4, 2003), Revisiting the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Townhall.com. Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/suzannefields/2003/09/04/168346.html 8. Kathi Stringer (2002), True Infantilism, Kathi’s Mental Health Review 9. Glen O. Gabbard (1998) Psychodynamic Psychiatry in Clinical Practice, THE DSM-IV Edition, pp. 141 10. Charles Schulz (September 19, 1952), Linus, Meet the Gang.com 11. Pictures for the advanced baby essay extracted from: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/advanced-baby-pictures.htm "Written by Kathi Stringer and may be reproduced and/or distributed on websites, and/or for personal use with the author's names and credits attached." |
What is True Infantilism?
| Written by Kathi Stringer Revision [N/A] July 31, 2002 Read Feedback on this Essay Introduction There is remarkably little information on this subject. For this reason it may be helpful to establish a criteria to recognize infantilism. The onset of true infantilism is marked by earliest of memories fantasizing of regressive dependencies. Usually, always during early childhood & youth, the individual believes they are isolated and alone with these regressive desires. That no one else in the world is like them. These individuals for the most part keep their pervasive symptoms of needing to act-out the regression hidden from family, friends and significant others. A common theme revolves around wearing diapers, which in most cases will give rise toward a role-identification of an infantile personality. Over time the behavior in most all cases will expand to include other infantile objects such as pacifiers, baby blankets, baby bottles and soft stuffed figures. Transitional Object vs. Fetish A person may view true infantilism mistakenly for a fetish. There is a stark difference since the desire for the object occurred before puberty [2,4,5]. For example, the diaper may be regarded as a symbolic formation to ward of insecurities [4] and becomes a transitional object for a child [6]. In strivings toward independence personality fragments may fuse with objects that represent nurturing [7]. It appears to provide a sense of control for the child to revisit a period that is widely accepted in our culture as nurturing. The energized transitional object offers relief from separation anxieties from the maternal figure and/or provides a sense of recreation of a period lost in grief. The Abuse Connection In some instances when abuse or neglect has traumatized a child [1], the small child may identify with toddlers in neighboring families and yearn for the same infantile attention. The child may secretly wish to exchange places and experience being diapered, cuddled, fed and nurtured as a renewed experience from a failed situation [8]. The observance of the attentive maternal figure construes as representation for the unconditional love longed for in a healthy environment. This longing may become fixated in the individual’s core developmental structures [3], since it provided a coping mechanism in absent of the good-enough mother. In essence, the fantasy of receiving infantile attention helped the child survive and to emotionally refuel during a chaotic period. In most case these mechanisms will continue to manifest by way of recurring infantile fantasies throughout the life cycle of the individual. The Libidinous Component As the infantile child moves through the latency period into adolescence, it is not uncommon for the transitional objects to remain with greater influence. After all, the infantile fantasy has been repeated many times along with its vicissitudes and is now firmly imprinted into the psychopathic structure. In some individuals, once libidinous gratification is augmented and integrated with the existing infantile fantasy, a new association emerges. The existing fantasy that provided a cathexis for emotional refueling is now set into motion with the more satisfying libido component. Essentially, the pre-libidinous transitional object takes on a new dynamic to relieve anxieties and to satisfy cognitive patterns set in childhood. It is not unreasonable to conclude that the fantasies imbued with the transitional object will become more concretized when intermittently connected to the libido drives. Fragmentation and a Continuous Sense of Self It is not uncommon for the infantile individual to become despondent from impinging feelings of guilt. After all, they may think that children do grow up one day and they have failed miserably. Some infantile individuals tend to look at life as ‘all or nothing’ terms. Either I am all regressed and unable to function, or, I am all grownup and must purge all the transitional objects. This thinking is much like a toddler uses in the defense of ‘splitting’[5]. A toddler relates to the world in all or nothing terms..i.e..”I love Mommy” or “I hate Mommy.” A toddler is unable to tolerate conflict or ambivalence and becomes unmanageable at times with temper tantrums since the anxiety is too overwhelming [5]. More to the point, the infantile individual that is either engulfed with regression or defiant of infantile longings, is behaving age appropriate with the toddler. More desirable and since regression is an enduring imprint, it cannot be ignored. To bring infantile wishes in harmony with a higher level functioning, a comprise must be reached. This understanding of one’s complexities gives way to a more continuous sense-of-self. Dependency vs. Nurturing Most infantile individuals incorporate a maternal figure into the childhood fantasy. This becomes a problem since to achieve a realistic experience the individual may seek out a mother figure and become depressed in her absence. It is for this reason I would like to point out a compelling difference between dependency and nurturing. Dependency engenders neediness [3] and a notion that one cannot be nurtured without the presence of another individual. This is a false assumption that may lead to desperation. A belief that infantile expressions can never be meaningful unless dependent other others can be catastrophic. Dependency creates a dependency on others for happiness. The infantile individual can nurture themselves with the advantage and use of transitional objects. The individual can simply be himself or herself and find happiness in being alive and able to experience regressive nurturing introspectively. An acceptance of self is the most nurturing aspect of life. A Helpful Analogy I’ll concrete this a bit further. Transitional Objects, a term coined by Winnicott, is an object of attachment that the infant uses to provide relief. In true infantilism, a diaper is a transitional object from ‘earliest’ memories….and holds a primary meaning of comfort and nurturing rather then a secondary sexual object. This analogy may help to clarify true infantilism. A transvestite wears women’s clothing for sexual gratification, and clearly a fetish. On the other hand, a transsexual wears women’s clothing from the desire to ‘become’ a woman and some cases with SRS the transformation is complete, and this is not a fetish for a transsexual. I see true infantilism as more connected to the transsexual aspect of this analogy. In essence, for the true infantile individual, a diaper is not a fetish but rather a Transitional Object with it’s origins in early childhood. Therapy and Treatment There is no known cure for true infantilism. Its patterns and deliveries to satisfy infantile longings are set firmly into place. It appears to become problematic when situations place an emphasis for disclosure…i.e. getting engaged or getting married. The infantilized individual grapples for a decision because fears of ashamedness, rejection, abandonment and exploitation are commonly associated with past developmental struggles in childhood. It brings to surface a terrifying risk that the new partner or family member will misunderstand and take the position that it is a bizarre perverted derangement and that action to crush the behavior is paramount. As stated, there is no known cure and treatment toward self-acceptance and individuality may ameliorate destructive wishes and behavior. Acceptance may resolve self-hatred and command the unrelenting forces of the cultural inner critic to subside. Since the personality is fused with the nurturing transitional object, it would not be therapeutic to destroy, purge, annihilate or defeat the mechanism that has provided some emotional stability for the individual. It would equate to most as wiping out the inner child. One treatment modality may be applicable. A healthy balance is to be encouraged to help an individual from completely giving in to regressive behaviors. Introduce exercises to limit the fantasies to diminish pervasive regressive behavior since engulfment may create a larger abyss that is not grounded in reality. Conclusion I don't see how a therapist can help with regression, at least from my experience.....UNLESS, the therapist is there to help with self-acceptance and validation. Once one can accept self, then the forces are not so relentless......it brings a feeling of.....I am okay....I am a unique individual and it is okay to be me. If you can accept that, then life becomes more rewarding, and that inner child becomes loved. Each needs their own time. One should not starve the other, or put guilt on the other.....you are what you are. [Written by Kathi Stringer and may be reproduced for personal use with credits attached.] Ref 1. Letter from Bruno Bettelheim 1978 2. The Transitional Space / Peter Giovacchini (p.28,80,81) 3. Prisoners of Childhood / Alice Miller (p.23,24,54) 4. Separation-Individuation / Margaret Mahler (p.108,157,171) 5. The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant / Mahler, Pine, Bergman (p.77,82,84,155) 6. Object Relations Individual Therapy / Scharff & Scharff (p.58) 7. The Facilitating Partnership / Applegate & Bonovitz (p.159) 8. The Language of Winnicott / Jan Abram (p.251) [used by permission]
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